Category: Let's talk
This is probably super trivial, but hear me out. I've always found shaking hands upon meeting someone to be kind of silly for some reason. When I meet someone, it's usually more of a brief squeeze of the hand. Your thoughts? Yeah, it's early in the morning and I haven't slept and I'm kinda bored. Sue me. Lol.
I don't believe I've actually ever shaken hands with anyone. It seems that most people just squeeze your hand. I can't remember anyone ever taking my hand and shaking it up and down.
I can. It's totally goofy.
So long as it's not a cold limp fish of a hand, it's acceptable.
I suppose. Or a sweaty hand, or one that feels like a mass of used teabags.
I've never shaken a woman's hand until recently. Most times it is a gental touch.
Guys seem to shake hands.
My culture also has a hand shaking ritual sort of, of us to, so it depends on the age broup.
This seems to come in style and go out. Right now, it is back.
I have a friend that refuses to do it anymore.
His girlfriend at the time told him that the guy he'd just shaken hands with wiped his nose first.
He's blind.
He got mad with her, because she allowed it to happen.
He said he had a cold for a week after that.
Smile.
I always offer a handshake ( and I do mean shake) in a round of introductions, and find it odd when people don't reciprocate. So, I'm old-fashioned in ways; LOL.
In my experience, Imp, you're correct. I can't recall any one actually "shaking" my hand; it is more of a grasp or squeeze if done in a palatable way. Limp and or damp is no good.
I never understood the importance of handshakes until I lost my sight and, for me, it is a sort of (very pale) imitation of eye contact.
Holding hands between couples and adults and children produces oxytocin which creates emotional bonding. I wonder if the handshake is a small take off on that?
I often find it hard with any of the physical contact on first meeting. What with this hand shakes, or some goes as far as giving you a bear hug and that. I just meet you, and i don't really consider you as friend yet, not even aquinton at that point. What about we talk, initiate contact, then do the hand shakes or hugging to later.
If it may be, i often found people brief squeeze on the hand more than the real up and down shaking motion. But at the same time, you kind of know a lot from the first hand squeeze i guess. How sincere they are on meeting you, and what sort of person they are with that brief contact.
Of course, you get some creeps where they hold your hand just a little too tight, for a little too long. That often turn me off to want to know that person more.
I don't really have a problem with hand shaking. It's culturally ingrained mind you. I also tend to shake. most of the time the hand shakes back. other times I'm left limp-wristing it. And that's awkward.
In my Opinion, a handshake, and I do mean shake, says a lot about you in those few seconds. A good, firm handshake says confidence. A limp wrist say "I feel awkward", amung other things. There are very few things in this life that grab my attention as fast as a well exicuted greeting.
the last two posters said it best.
a handshake does say a lot, and like leo said, as long as someone isn't shaking one's hand like a fish, I'd rather have that physical contact than not have it.
I agree with Dave_H
I'll always offer to shake hands with anyone, any time.
I think it's kind of a guy thing, though.
I hate it when I meet someone and reach out to shake hands only to find they've moved on to greener pastures.
I like the analogy someone made to eye contact.
Do the Brits shake hands? What avout shaking hands in other cultures?
Bob
Yeah, I always reach for the hand, even if it's a girl. Although, if it's a family friend I'm meeting for the first time, or a good friend's mom or something like that, then sometimes I go in for a hug. That's not as common though. In a professional setting, always the handshake. Got to be firm and confident.
I'm curious about other cultures too, especially in professional settings. When I went to Portugal, I was meeting my close friend's relatives, and all of them hugged and kissed me as a first-time greeting, which was a little awkward for me at first, but I got used to it and it became kind of endearing.
yes, the Mexican culture does the kissing thing, on both cheeks. I learned that, when I grew up around many of them.
I think shaking hands is more done by men, although it is becoming less and less genda specific these days.
someone asked a question about the brits. as a brit I can tell you that we are definitely a nation of hand shakers. having said that in a less formal setting you are just as likely to get a casual hug. it all depends on the company really.
It's interesting how many cultures do the kiss on both cheeks. There's also bowing in the Japanese culture, which, though certainly cleaner, is, to me a little impersonal.
I'm told that when a Japanese and a non-Japanese meet, there is a combined bow and handshake with one person turning slightly to avoid bumping heads.
Hmmm, I( never thought of handshaking as a gender specific thing. I've always been taught to shake hands with someone when I meet them, whether that's a man or woman. Sometimes people will shake hands after a meeting as well, I've noticed, like when you've concluded whatever business or conversation you had with them. So I guess I never realized some consider it a guy thing. I usually appreciate the physical contact, it can tell you quite a bit, especially as a blind person. Unfortunately yes, you occasionally get the limp, damp, or otherwise yucky-feeling hand. Bleh!
Hi,
I was born and raised in canada, although my parents were Portuguese immigrants. I
have a few views on this issue globally, as I have lots of family throughout Europe and in
South America.
In north America, I see handshakes as primarily a guy thing. I think they happen in all
kinds of casual or formal situations alike. I have observed females offering handshakes
primarily in business situations but not typically in a casual setting.
In Europe, the greeting ritual differs from country to coutntry, with the Portuguese kissing
once on both cheeks, there's 3 kisses in Spain I believe, 4 kisses in France, and probably
other variations I'm not aware of. It appears that the women greet each other in this way,
and men greet women as well. Men are most likely to shake hands with each other, and
hugs between any of the above combinations of genders are common in family or close
friend situations but not with strangers or in business settings.
I see some very stark gender differences between north American and European culture.
It seems women are encouraged to be much more stand-offish in north America. Also, I
have rarely had any hugs from anyone in north America besides family.
I have to say I much prefer the European greeting system. The intimacy between two
people is so much higher when there is such a personal closeness to the greeting. As a
blind person, it gives you all sorts of feedback about a person that you would not have
otherwise. It is not at all viewed in European culture as anything sexual, it is purely an
honest greeting when people kiss or hug. It forces one to be more vulnerable in allowing
their personal space to be invaded a little. I have never experienced inappropriate
violations of the tradition, and I think people are strong enough to deal with them
appropriately should that ever happen. Above all, when you are in a large group setting,
you are expected to greet every person in this way when you first meet them and usually
when you are leaving, so I find this gives you a few seconds each time to strike up a short
conversation, or get to know a little bit more about each and every person, which truly
gives you more information about every person in the group, whether you will be talking
to them for the rest of the visit or not. I would not say that north American culture is
wrong in the absence of touch, but I do feel that there is much to be gained from the
experience.
For myself as a guy, I expect to shake everyone's hand, worldwide unless I know it's not
part of their belief system. For greeting women, I switch modes depending on the
company I am with, an in North American culture I have to play whether a handshake will
be a part of the greeting by ear.
Victor
Oh, and I forgot to add that hand sanitizer goes a long way towards calming any thoughts
of where someone's hand has been. And kissing someone also makes me conscious of my
personal appearance and cleanliness, which can only be a good thing.
I'd like the European method as well. As a blind person, you are right, you'd get much from a greeting you'd not have.
Even the shaking of hands gives me much feedback.
North America has a sexual issue. Women tend to be allowed more freedom with women however.
I think it depends on the situation. If it is professional, a brief clasp and shake is almost required. If it is social, I tend to be a hugger, so I'll do a quick lean in hug if I know the person somewhat. But unless it is professional, or someone initiates the handshake, I don't do it. It kind of feels weird.
I rarely hug or kiss people, even family. I am not much of a feeler. I think I would be quite uncomfortable with a Latin American or European greeting.
I do shake hands however, I usually offer it everytime I am introduced to someone new, social or professional. Why, I don't know perhaps to look slightly more conformist and polite. I don't believe in it, but I do it anyway.